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Vance's Blasting Cannons is perhaps the most aspirational card on this list but is almost perfectly serviceable as just a red howling mine (do we have a good name for "effect that draws you another card each turn"?) It notably doesn't let you play lands, but cards like Outpost Siege don't give you the story equity this card does

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Mew [Holo] #4 Pokemon POP Series 4 Keep track of your collection value over time

Without further ado, lets get to the list

This works okay, but it turns out that for Magic cards, we can do better, and we can brainstorm specific details for the card, and remix those together