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Removing blockers is pretty easy given all of the edict effects in black, but we dont have to use only those

If thats another creature, it gains the following abilities until end of turn.) Deathtouch Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player or battle, return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield

Creature - Horror Insect Phyrexian Pir, Imaginative Rascal Partner with Toothy, Imaginary Friend (When this creature enters, target player may put Toothy into their hand from their library, then shuffle.) If one or more counters would be put on a permanent your team controls, that many plus one of each of those kinds of counters are put on that permanent instead

- No, its not as effective as Swords to Plowshares or Path to Exile, but those cards dont let you do an Ian McKellen impression when you cast them

We dont disagree, but there still arent nearly enough cards that would go on the list